My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize