Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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