An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
