they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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