he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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