i need an iv and a liver transplant
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He did a backflip because drugs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
