I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
