I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
