You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
