Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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