Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
