one two three fourrrrnication!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
