so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
