I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
