and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize