i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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