what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
