We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize