Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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