my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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