a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What a dumb baby whore.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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