Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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