That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
