Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he puts the penis in happiness.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
