all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
