She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
