Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
