thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize