why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
