Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
