quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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