Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
