I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
