Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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(775): View more from Nevada

So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend

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(360): View more from Washington

we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.

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(940): View more from Texas

He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.

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(785): View more from Kansas

This should be illegal

(816): View more from Missouri

It is

(785): View more from Kansas

I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this

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