But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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