so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
