my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
a search helicopter?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
