big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
