awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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