i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
