remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
