Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
