Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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