Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
