I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
