Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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