she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
