just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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