I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
