New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
