No I am not eating basil off your cock
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
