i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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