Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
