Don't you send me to vm
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
