My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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