I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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