I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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