i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize