Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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