I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You made out with two different species that night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
