im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
