4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
