She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
