i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
