i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
