don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
