i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
