Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
