She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
