Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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